I really don't know what to make of anything anymore, nor do I think I want to. For every step I gain in my confidence, I lose 10 when all is said and done.

I deal with my problems, people dig at wounds I've let heal,it's like thier main goal is to see this person unravelled, hurt and acting as a beast only because I defend myself to a point that i'm sompletely ruthless. It's a defense mechanism, it's a wall I put up, it's never towards anyone directly... just when they bring up what i try to forget and they see the reaction.

I've tried to smile thru it all. I've given everyone thier time in the sun while i stand in the damn rian, for once i would like the sunshine, not to be a mess and depressed.

i dunno i hate venting.....it brings out the worst and the most hurt in me....